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Bathhouse 101

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 21:23:22 -0500

A bath house is a place of fantasy and wonder. I liken it to a dream state. It is full of great men, wearing no clothes.

On a practical level, you enter the front door to find a booth with an attendant willing to take your money. Usually you have a choice of either a locker (about $15) or a room (about $25). The usual time limit is about 6 hours. My choice is usually a locker - its cheaper and I'm usually not there for more than a couple of hours. As this is a "legal private club", you have to sign something. Please feel free to make an "X" if you want.
Then you are "buzzed in".
Once inside, you are given a towel and a key (and a condom if you are lucky. )

Finding your room/locker is the hardest part of your experience. These places are always mazes. No matter how good the clerk's directions are, you will have to spend some time finding where you are going. As you wander through the halls, you may notice men wandering out in towels (or less) making significant eye contact with everything that moves. You may also notice open doors. Inside you may see that the rooms are just small cubicles with a bed-like structure and maybe some sort of cabinet. Frequently these open doors have guys lying inside waiting "for company".

Presuming you have rented a locker, you will eventually find it amongst a bank of others. As a novice, I would recommend you stash your coat and towel in the locker and go for a walk. You can familiarize yourself with the layout and get a sense of the sexual temperature of the place.

You may notice some of the facilities:
various styles of rooms - some with big bed or TV's
a video room - may or may not be showing dirty movies
a dark area - may have glory holes
a wet area (showers, sauna, steam room, Jacuzzi etc)

Once you are comfortable with your surroundings, its time to try things out. Return to your locker and take off all of your clothes. With a towel wrapped around your middle, make sure you have your key. I tuck mine in my watch strap. Others put them on their bicep (if they have one) or on their ankle (can be noisy).

I think starting with a shower is best. Its always nice to have sex with a clean partner, you might as well do your part.

There are many ways to "do the tubs". Cruising the rooms is the most basic. You would approach one of the open doors with someone you like lying on the bed. A little mutual showing would signal interest. A polite "May I come in" would cinch the deal. Behind closed doors, who knows what happens.

The glory holes are good for those who only want one thing. These are small boths (telephone booth size) with holes between them. The holes are big enough to get your cock and balls through. They are very dark and very anonymous. This is a waiting game. You need to be seen going into this area otherwise you may wait for hours before someone discovers you.

My preference is to hang out in the steam room. I really like the heat and the steam and the complete lack of clothing. Guys rarely keep their towels wrapped around themselves - either around the neck or just rolled and put aside. The lighting is gloomy in the steam room, it is usually flattering. If the steam room has two tiered benches, then there is a rough protocol. Guys who want to be sucked sit on the top level, and guys who want to suck sit on the lower level. This is really only a rough guide, actually, anything goes.

A basic scenario would be: you enter the room, see someone you like, sit near to him, start jerking yourself. If he starts to jerk too, then you can escalate. Simple physical contact is good. Touching his leg, chest or go right for the dick. With experience, you can get a feel for what's best.

The great thing about the tubs is that everybody is there for sex. There is no pretence at being in a steam room to improve the complexion. Some guys are shy about playing in the steam room, he might stop when someone else comes in. That is foolish. A new person might want to join-in! If both everyone agree, then it becomes a threesome. The possibilities are astounding.

As for specific sexual acts, you can get anything you want at the tubs. I limit myself to jerking and sucking. I am in a relationship and am quite happy to keep the heavy stuff at home.

Other things
-Always take a shower after each encounter. Use a lot of soap - its free. You can catch a lot of things at the tubs. This is a good way to avoid a lot of them.
-No means no. If somebody declines your advance, don't take it personally, they are probably looking for some weird kink or are too drunk to recognize quality. By the same token, if someone who doesn't appeal to you approaches, a simple "no thank-you" should suffice.
-Also, you should never feel pressured into doing something you are not comfortable with. It the scene is getting too heavy, just grab your towel and leave. Nobody will be offended.
-Poppers are a very popular drug at the tubs. Its fabulous, but use with caution. I'm sure it kills brain cells at an alarming rate.

Club Ft. Lauderdale

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 11:59:55 -0500

I went to The Club Ft. Lauderdale on a Sunday afternoon just after Thanksgiving. Its by far the biggest facility I have ever been to. All on one level, it seemed to go on forever. I got a room which seemed to be in the farthest section – which was fine. It gave me a chance to see the whole place as I went too and from my room.

I was struck by the massive work-out area. Perhaps it was the mirrors, but it seemed to have acres of equipment. Gleaming racks of free weights lined two walls and the large wall of windows gave the line of stair masters a commanding view of the pool deck. As in most bathhouses, all the equipment went unused. I like the idea of pumping myself up before prowling for man meat, but usually, I’ve had enough to drink before I get to the tubs that I know I would do major damage to myself and others if I started wielding barbells around.

The pool deck itself was quite nice. Very much like one would expect at a larger hotel. A good size pool (too shallow for diving – probably just as well) was surrounded by rows and rows of deck loungers. A pergola over the large hot tub makes it the center of attention. I took the opportunity to lie au naturel in the late afternoon sun and doze off my lunchtime cocktails (I was on holiday). As it was Sunday, there were a fair number of people around. Many came for the free buffet served poolside, that the management puts on. I didn’t partake (I have enough trouble holding in my tummy after 2 beers) but it looked great. I’ve always felt that there was a visceral link between eating and sex. Both are best enjoyed in a communal setting.

I explored the rooms. It just seemed like it went on for ever like a mid range hotel. The halls are all the same; brown door after brown door. There are a couple of specialty areas which looked like they could be fun. They were just dark areas, some with benches and a glory hole or two. There didn’t seem to be anyone seriously cruising then, so I moved on.

The wet area has always been my favorite place to play. The large open shower area is all tiled in black and white. It made things seem quite clean. The dry sauna is large and features two “bays” Its very bright and not very hot. I didn’t find it very conducive to play.

The steam room, however, is worth the price of admission. Its curved walls and recessed cubby holes create an organic cave-like atmosphere that was really great for getting it own. The walls and benches are some kind of fairly rough concrete. It means its non-slip, but kinda hard on the knees if you are kneeling on it (I know – at my age that shouldn’t be a problem) . The lighting is subdued and the temperate is just right. I was able to stay in there for a long time and enjoy the company of several really great men.

One of the most fascinating features of both the steam room and dry sauna is that they both have back doors that lead out to the pool deck. Being a boy from Canada, the idea that you could have an exterior door on a steam room seems as outrageous as a screen door on a submarine, but this was great. It meant that there could be traffic flowing through (you can escape that troll that’s stalking you). Also, if things get too crowded (and they did) you were always close to a door.

I found the clientele to be reasonably varied and friendly. I found some great guys to play with and would really like to try this place again on a Friday or Saturday night. I expect things could get quite wild.

Other points:
* No alcohol service
* Hard to get to without a car (but so is everything if Ft. Lauderdale). They have a big parking lot, but it was full when I was there.
* The lockers are near the wet area which makes sense.
* I didn’t see any public play areas with a sling – but maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough.
* The front desk is well provisioned with cock rings, poppers and other necessities.

Central Spa - London On

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 08:32:45 -0500

I recently went to Central Spa in London. It was a Saturday night in March. I went with a buddy who had to work the next day so we arrived early (8:00 ish) and left just before midnight.

It had been quite a while since I was last there. I had heard that the managment had made some efforts to spruce the place up.

I was dissapointed.

The grunge factor here is still very high. I got a room. There were holes in the wall roughly patched with plaster. No attempt to sand or paint made (yet). The tile in the wet area was coming off the walls. And everything smelled less than fresh.

To be fair, its an older establishement that has gone through several owners and doesn't have a huge client base to draw from (although Winnipeg - a similar sized city - has two bathhouses that both do quite well)

The guy at the desk (also the bar) was really nice and quite hot. That actually scores several points for me.

And yes, there is a bar. I kinda like drinking beer in my underwear, so thats what I did. And the price wasn't too bad $7.50 for two. There were a few older guys sitting at the bar fully clothed. It seems that they pop in for quick drink on the way home to the wife. They didn't seem to mind my state of undress.

The bathhouse consists of a locker room; some rooms; a wet area (showers, hot tub, steamroom, dry sauna); a video lounge; a really dark play area (yikes); and a larger play room with a sling, bunk bed and a slurp-ramp/glory hole contraption. Its not terribly well set-up, but I've seen worse.

When we arrived, the steamroom was cold (and really smelly). About an hour later, they had turned on the steam and it was fine. Its actually a pretty good room. The benches are quite wide which would allow guys to 69 if needs be.

All of this should have made for a great evening. Except there were not any guys to play with. There were a few retirees. Nothing wrong with that but its not my style (yet). After waiting for a couple of hours and several beers, my buddy and I finally found a 20-something guy lying in his room. We pounched and made him cum in 3 minutes. Its a pitty. Being young, he promised a quick turn-around, but we didn't see him again.

As we were leaving, the clientele seemed to be picking up. If we had stayed longer, there may have been the potential of some serious fun. But I doubt it.

On the whole, this place will do if you really need to suck cock in a steamroom (very good for the skin), but if you have the time, head to Toronto. Or find a guy online. I probably will go back, but I'm in no rush.

Group Sex , S&M and Other Scenes

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:59:33 -0600

"THE ORGY"
STEPHEN AND MICHAEL WERE ALREADY NAKED ON THE FLOOR, THEIR GENITALS ERECT AND TREMBLING. wHEN SEBASTIAN ARRIVED, MARTIN QUICKLY RELEASED THE PRICK FROM HIS PANTS AND SLIPPED IT INTO HIS MOUTH. BILL ENTERED GERALD FROM BEHIND. DENNIS, WHO WAS VERY ATTRACTIVE, FOUND HIMSELF WITH A COCK IN HIS LEFT HAND, HIS RIGHT HAND, IN HIS MOUTH AND IN HIS ANUS. PETER, EXCITED BY THE INSISTENT PRESENCE OF WALTER'S TONGUE IN HIS ASSHOLE, SUDDENLY CAME IN ALLEN'S FACE. HIBISCUS AND TAHARA FELL UPON SCRUMBLY AND SEPULCHRA. SURPRISINGLY, THEY ALL CAME TOGETHER. I MYSELF MADE IT WITH CHRISTOPHER. I FONDLED THE SWOLLEN ORGAN OUT FROM HIS CLOTHES AND SUCKED IT UNTIL THE MILK OF HIS PENIS FLOWED IN MY THROAT. MANY OTHER WERE PRESENT. I'VE FORGOTTEN THEIR NAMES THEIR PALE BODIES SQUIRMED ON THE FLOOR LIKE LIBIDINOUS TROUT IN A SHALLOW STREAM.
-----JAMES MITCHELL
So far I've been talking about ways of sharing sex, about techniques -what you move, how you move it, and what to watch out for. And I've also been describing an emotional atmosphere, a context of trust, sharing, gentleness, honesty, and warmth. But there are some aspects of sex play which may be important to some people that I've left out of the discussion. One thing I've omitted is group sex, since I've only talked about you by yourself or with a partner. But one's or two's are not the only combinations. I've also ignored sex roles - being dominant or submissive, playing master-and-slave, and so on. Many people get off on such roles and want to know more about them. Another thing for some is fetishes, objects of sex desire. And then there are also sex supplements, aids like dildos and drugs to enhance your pleasure.
So for all of you who'd like to know more about these things, here are sections introducing "group sex," S&M," "fetishes," "voyeurism," "sex aids" and "drugs." These sections are not long and detailed, but short and suggestive, and certainly don't cover the full range of sex interests. They're meant to encourage further exploration if something interests you.

GROUP SEX
It may seem from previous topics that two people is the only and ideal way to share sex and touching. But indeed, this would be a narrow way of looking at things; pairing is not the be-all and end- all of everything. It's only one out of many possibilities. Modern western culture romanticizes and idealizes the couple as the All- Enduring, Totally-Satisfying way to go. One keeps searching for that perfect mate, who'll supply everything.
This was not always the attitude of our society, nor of the other societies. Pairing is a sexual pattern for reproducing the species, and is found in all genitally sexual animals. But animals usually change partners frequently, and in human cultures one relationship does not usually exclude others, nor is the pair the only style. Sometimes threesomes or group rituals of all different kinds are allowed or encouraged. Variety and flexibility are key themes in human behavior. There's certainly nothing wrong with pairing, as long as it doesn't become a delusional obsession.
I'd like to briefly look at sexual sharing between three and more men. This can involve discreet threesomes or hundred-person wild orgies.
Where gay sexuality has been allowed, such groupings have almost always happened. Reading through the historical sections of the past, you'll note that sex in groups is often described, sometimes where everyone is sharing it, at other times where most are watching, or in which there's a group of pairs. For masturbation, fellatio, anal intercourse - all the ways - there are groups. Earlier I reported ritual public masturbation in ancient Egypt an opium gatherings in China. Groups like these have a variety of purposes, religious communion, growth, and/or pleasure. In most cultures including our own, sexual orgies have long been common. Many southern European artists have left us paintings of "daisy- chains," circles of men fucking, some of these depicting Egyptian or Turkish es Silsileh (cuticle).
Today there are few if any ritual ways for getting together in group sex. Public baths and an occasional private party are possibilities. Indeed for those who visit gay bath houses, probably one of the biggest reasons is having sex with many people, in crowded "orgy rooms" and private cubicles. Many people like to share themselves with a group, and sensual / sexual levels can certainly be a part of this.
What it takes is the desire to do it and the facilitation of group awareness towards this end. Any three or more people, under many circumstances, are potential material for group sex, if all want it and someone takes the initiative. When friends get together, they share information and entertainment. Why not sex as well?
In my work as a massage-group leader at gay raps, I've often seen group warmth and intimacy become sensual and sexual, and lead to marvelously supportive, growthful experiences. The major problem here is to avoid forcing anyone to participate; groups have the uncanny ability to demand conformity, to the degree that its members are scared of not doing what everybody else wants. So precaution must be taken against making group sex happen through force or fear. Other than this, it's undoubtedly a good thing, breaking through the social taboos against group warmth and touch. Again, talk will help in the matter: if it seems some people would like the idea, bring it up in the group as a possibility.
Usually some will begin touching and fondling. Once people get into it, it's best to be fairly loose about who does what, folks doing what they feel like; and remember, you don't have to participate. Mutual masturbation is probably the easiest sexual thing, hands going here and there. Or you can form a curl, doing yourself or your neighbor - this is called a "circle jerk." Others may want to get into fellatio or anal intercourse.
Fellatio is easy to do with three (and more). The classic style is for one person to lie on his back. Another, then, kneels over him, heads both pointing in the same direction. Then someone else can kneel over the first person's face or lie under the second person's legs. Such a chain can be extended to include however many people. Informally speaking, any way people want to say/stand/kneel is fine, and lost of variety is possible.
For anal intercourse the kneeling position can be used, people on their knees or hands and knees, one behind the other. Such chains are quite extravagant to watch or be in, but may be a little too formal for the typical orgy or ménage a trios.

Rimming

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:42:58 -0600

Rimming- (also called "analingus") is another way to explore the rear ends - it's licking, tonguing, and sucking the anus. This might seem like a strange thing to do, because asses are supposed to be dirty and bad. Actually, they're not. Although it's possible to catch v.d. or hepatitis from an infected person, fears of rimming are mainly esthetic, that is, related to smell, taste, and personal preference. As with postillioning and anal intercourse, you can always douche beforehand, eliminating any odors and being of utmost cleanliness.

It's because the anus-opening is so delicately sensitive, and the lips and tongue so warmly expressive, that rimming is enjoyed by many people. It's also an easy thing to do, in any position where the buttocks can be drawn far enough apart to admit the tongue. Analingus is nice as part of Around the World, kissing and tonguing the body all over. You can lick across the anus in soft, wet strokes, or encircle it, going round and around languorously. You can flick the tongue-tip rapidly, or insert it inside as far as it'll go, pushing and stroking back and forth. You can brush the lips gently over the spot, or such hard on the anus, as of trying to draw it out. This is especially nice of combined with tongue insertion. If, while you're being rimmed, you push down and relax the anus as if shitting, it will expand a little outwards, giving more area to caress and even nibble at.

It's also nice to combine analingus with scrotilingus, tonguing and sucking his balls, In fact, the whole are between the legs, since it's so protected, is soft and sensitive to touching and warmth.

Fist Fucking

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:37:14 -0600

In fist fucking the whole hand (and even the forearm) goes up the rectum. Some people seem to like this: they say it produces very erotic sensations of their internal organs. Although fist fucking can be very painful, it's not necessarily an S&M (sado-masochistic) action; any two people can get into it who want to.
You can do fist fucking because the anus and the rectum are so remarkably flexible. You start by bunching the fingertips together and inserting them, lubricated, in the anus. Then you slowly work the fingers up and in, as the anal sphincter relaxes. Finally, if the anus relaxes enough, you'll be able to fit the whole hand (with the fingertips still pressed together). Once in, you can clench the fist and slide your arm in too. Of course, before you can be fist fucked, you must really want it and be able to relax your anus. Fist fucking can be very harmful if it bruises the prostate gland, causing infection, or irritates anal sores you already have, or pierces the rectum itself. If the rectum is broken, it's easy to get peritonitis, an infection inside the stomach cavity, which can be fatal without quick medical treatment. So, if you want to do fist fucking, be cautions.

Postillioning

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:32:18 -0600

Postillioning is inserting a finger (fingers) into the anus, and may include massaging it, the rectum, or/and the prostate gland inside. At its extreme, this can become fist fucking, which is insertion of the whole hand. I've already mentioned postillioning as a pleasant addition to the sex act, and also as a good preparation for anal intercourse. Here I'd like to explain in more detail how you can do it, and things to watch out for.

The index or middle finger is best used, being long and strong. The finger must be well lubricated with spit or oil or Vaseline (don't use any thing with soap, as this will upset the rectal eco-system), and then placed at the anal opening. The outside can be caressed in circles and mild probes. This is usually a very warm experience and helps relax the are.

Make insertion by pressing gently and firmly inwards, wobbling the tip a little as necessary. On the one hand, your finger won't go in at all if the ass is tight as it can be. On the other, if the anus is completely relaxed the finger will slide in with hardly any effort. Postillioning is a great way to help someone explore their rear and learn to loosen the anus-opening. Insertion is helped of the ass-person pushes lightly out as of going to the bathroom. You probably won't find anything inside the rectum, and whatever you do find will be harmless. If you must have him absolutely clean inside he can douche with an enema bottle and warm water.

Once inside, you'll feel the thick, strong, muscular ring which is the anus, and beyond it the soft sides of the rectum. Keep at least your fingertip beyond the anus, or contraction of the muscle will cause the finger to pop out again. Once your finger is inside, you can explore around, pushing it in as far as it'll go, curling it around the anus, flicking it back and forth, finding the prostate gland, This gland makes the fluid for ejaculation, and can be found behind the testicles; if you stroke it during masturbation or fellatio, it feels great (if it hurts a lot instead, it's probably infected; if it doesn't feel like much of anything, you're probably nervous). If you insert two fingers you can push them apart inside as a way to stretch and loosen the anus. Just having the finger(s) positioned inside while sucking or jacking-off is quite delightful, while sliding them up and down at ejaculation can double or quadruple the intensity. When it's time to finish, just pull the finger out gradually, pushing down towards the legs with the finger(s) while drawing the hand up towards the head.

Being positioned is another way to open yourself up to new experiences. You may be nervous at first, from the newness of it; it may not seem pleasurable at all. Since your anus/rectum is used to nothing but excrement inside, a finger may cause you to feel like going to the bathroom. This is to be expected at first, and will disappear as you relax and get used to it. It's also easier if you're sexually excited. Keep in mind that the finger can't harm you unless it has a sharp nail or pokes violently.

Anal Intercourse - Performance Fears

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:27:46 -0600

As with the ass-person, so too with the penis-person, being of good consciousness, open, wanting to explore and cooperate - with these, knowledge and pleasurable sensations; touching and rubbing in joyful ways. Once your penis is in his rectum, all this will tend to happen by itself; just let go and explore what feels good.

If you haven't done it before, you might feel clumsy, confused; body motions used in anal intercourse aren't used many places outside sex, so how can you be expected to know them instantly? If you feel uncomfortable, tell him you're exploring; maybe he can help you out.

One big worry is that you might be embarrassed, that you'll fail. This is called "Performance anxiety:" you can't get it up, you can't keep it up, and/or you can't carry through to climax. The penis is sensitive to worry, like a barometer it goes up and down with anxiety level (among other things, such as fatigue). In other words, if you're too upset or too unsteady, it's pretty hard to fake it with your cock. And once you've "failed," it makes it even harder.

But actually, this penis-sensitivity can be seen as a good thing: it makes you be honest. There's a big difference between performing in intercourse and sharing. I'm not writing about performance at all - if you want to put on a show, entertain your partner and prove your skills, go read something else because I'm not interested in it. If you want to be together, mixing with him, giving and taking as two growing people - then you'll want to be honest, clear, human, yourself. And then, if you go limp, you go limp. Big deal! That's part of being yourself at the time. You're scared, uncertain, confused; these are important feelings; don't deny them! People manage to get themselves into a fix by making things worse then they are. Worries in sex are common, human things; we all fail, including me your humble sexpert. By discovering you can just be you, wherever you're at during the moment, it won't matter so much; it'll be OK.

If you've tried before and failed a lot, you probably feel pretty bad about it. "I'm a loser; ain't it awful." Well, you'll never get over it with that attitude. What keeps people from doing what they want is "I can't do it; I'm super anxious that I'll just fail again." This vicious circle failure, fear of failure - needs to be broken, and the first step is removing the emotional punch of "failing." Examine why you see your act as a failure; you must have had a goal in mind that you didn't reach, and this to you was bad. Why is this a bad thing? Try looking at it from a new point of view, seeing it neither as a bad or good, but simply as an event which happened.

Find a friend who's willing to work on it with you, explaining that you want to do this, but couldn't manage it in the past. Then you can go on to break the cycle, by learning that you can enjoy yourself. This needs trust and help from your friend, as you learn together. First, you'll want to discover you can enjoy contact with his rear end. when you're having sex, try inserting your finger on or in his anus, and he into yours, especially at climax. Thus you'll discover you can give and get extra pleasure this way. After you're used to this, try the special position I mentioned before: you lie on your back, and your friend straddles you at the waist, to insert your penis in him. You don't have to move a thing; just relax and feel it. Often the person was so worried about what to do after insertion that he could never get that far.

Let your friend do all the movement. I you go limp, try again or switch to something else. Make sure it's OK with you and your friend if you go limp, since this (limp=failed=bad) can be the biggest part of feeling like you're no good. Take time discovering that you can be erect and be inside him. If it doesn't happen sooner or later, you may want to just let it rest until a better time.

After you feel comfortable being inside him. try moving. As you begin to do this, open up to your desire. Try the side-ways position, both facing the same way, since it won't be as demanding as some others. Once you feel fluid and relaxed mentally, your body will flow also. Flex it; try out your pelvis. Just move it around any old way and see what happens. You'll probably discover most if not all the possible movements. Thrusting is with the small of the back (just above your ass), making your pelvis tip up and down. You'll be rusty at first; practice makes better (dancing is also a good place to practice).

You'll find you can move in ways that express your feelings: slow, fast, hard, soft, simple, complex, as you like. Also it'll take time to coordinate your movements with him; this cooperation is learned, as you pick up each other's styles and talk about what's good for you. If both of you are into moving at the same time, perhaps the easiest is for you to thrust while he rotates his pelvis. To do this try to draw an imaginary circle around your waist with your rear end. And then there's thrusting together - there are two ways to do it. As you push your penis deeper into his ass, he can push against you' and then pull away from you as you pull away from him. This is the meeting style. In the rhythm style, you both thrust at the same time; you make the exact same rhythm. Obviously this would never work, except that you and he don't move at exactly the same time: one of you is "off" slightly, pushing down a little after he pushes down, pulling up a little after, and so on.

There's another important matter that's good to know. And this is about forcing your friend's ass. There are two ways to have anal intercourse as in inter-action, or as a game of force and selfish controlling between suspicious partners. Time and again, it is the good consciousness that matters; feeling warm, trusting, open with your friend. With this attitude, the problem of forced entry will never come up. But it often happens that a tight anus is rammed by a callous or overeager partner, and this is not good. As I've taken time to explain, the anus muscles will be as loose as the person feels. If the anus doesn't relax, intercourse can still happen, as the ass can be entered by sheer force. This is usually painful, and may hurt the ass-person by tearing the rectum. You will instantly know if you're being entered in a bad way, because it'll hurt a lot. And that's the time to stop things.

Be gentle when you enter another person: after you're in, you can use healthy stroking, but not at first; don't plunge in like a high diver. You should slide in with a firm, easy pushing, If not, try again later. the anus may not be either totally relaxed or tight: it doesn't have to be gaping wide open - but if firm pressure doesn't work, don't go on. The best indicator of trouble is pain - a little is usually OK, especially of the ass-person is inexperienced, but a lot means stop. If the penis is really large, some extra stretching may be necessary, and this may take a little practice for the anus to get used to. You can insert your penis in just part way, and then withdraw, so that his anus will become adjusted to accept this mount. The anus is very flexible, but it may take some practice - try inserting a little, then full insertion later, followed by gentle movements and then finally moving as comfortable. This gradual approach, in many matters, is usually the safest and most secure way.

From all the foregoing, it may seem like anal intercourse is a very complex activity. But actually it's a simple thing, and comes easy with an easy mind. It's another way of sharing bodies and feelings, meeting and exploring the world of ourselves. It can be a way of pleasuring, growing, loving, a nice pastime or a meaty pursuit.

Anal Intercourse - Fear of Being Entered

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:22:33 -0600

I've already mentioned some of the pleasures possible thought receiving the penis in intercourse. Now let's talk about how you do it, and things you might be afraid of.
this matter is simply put: your rectum can receive a large penis easily and fully, and this can be quite pleasurable, if you want it. And you must want it, before it can happen. That is, you must be at ease, in mind and body. The rectum is like a very elastic pipe with a set of muscular rings at the end, the anus. The anus acts as a plug, to stop things from going out, or let them in. It tightens and relaxes like purse-strings on a bag, and is fairly strong.
This muscle is controlled by the mind, and emotions influence how tense it will be at any given time. Good fucking can't happen unless the anus is relaxed, and this may take some learning.
Many of us are taught to be ashamed out our rear ends, of the things that happen there, and the sensations of this area. the anus can be an erotic place; most children experience pleasure in shitting, but many adults ignore these feelings, in their rush to get the act over with as little guilt as possible. The rear end becomes an ignored and mysterious place. The anus is usually held tight, and becomes the site of problems like hemorrhoids.
Yet the feelings are still there. Awareness and conscious control of the anus can be learned, although this takes time to discover.
Look at it as exploring something new, part of your own body. The first thing is, how you feel about your anus and rectum. Are they a part of you, or do you emotionally push them away? If you feel bad about your ass, that it's a dirty place, this is where you explorations must begin.
Explore your anus, to discover how it feels and that it's not dirty, that you can touch it and not get hurt. You can do this two ways: by yourself and / or with a friend.
If you explore yourself you have control over you actions. Climb into a tub of hot water (or a shower or on your bed) and relax. Then with you fingertips explore your genitals and thighs, gliding around to feel what it's like. Then bend your legs and slide your fingers down between them. lower and deeper, past your testicles. Touch your anus very lightly with one finger. Then with several. Push down a little - how does it feel? If you like that, try masturbating while pressing several fingers on your ass.
Now you've made contact. If it feels good there or if you sense that it will, keep exploring. Don't push yourself to do more than you want at any one time - pace yourself comfortable. But try to tune in on your rear; discover when it's tight and when it's loose, and how you can control this.
At some point you'll want to take the plunge, inserting a finger inside. It's a remarkable discovery, that you can do this, and opens up a world of new sensations. Be aware that the rectum is a sturdy, flexible organ and can't be hurt by fingers, a penis or other similar objects, unless you violently intend to do so: if you don't make your finger force your ass, or your ass force your finger, they will work well together. Sharp edges like fingernails can scratch it, and that's not good, to trim your nail a little first. But if it can take all your excrement it can take smaller things like fingers and cocks.
Usually there's nothing inside the end-part of the rectum; but sometimes there might be small particles. You'll discover that these are harmless and easily washed off after. Or you can clean out your rectum first, douching with an enema bottle and warm water. Many men who enjoy ass fucking do this. Or you can use a quick and easy method developed by Dr. Bill Horstman, a San Francisco sexologist, which consists of douching with a large basting syringe, which can be bought at most supermarkets. It's a big plastic tube, pointed at one end (make sure to file down the tip so it's not scratchy) and with a rubber glove on the other. Filled with water, it holds just enough to clean the rectum thoroughly and simply.
Now, I suggest you like back on your bed (or wherever), and bend your legs to bring your feet up close to your rear. Get into an enjoyable masturbation with one hand, and grease a finger of the other with KY or another lubricant. Then place it at your anus, and push very gently, slowly. Your finger will go in just a little. If you want to get your finger in farther, you must keep pushing gently and firmly, and release the anus muscle. Then you will feel you finger go all the way through, past the thick muscle and into the soft, quiet rectum.
It may feel uncomfortable at first, because you've taught yourself to regard anything in the rectum as dark and dirty, and you'll want to push it out. But take it easy; try letting your finger rest there as you're masturbating. You may feel a little burning or irritation, but this will turn to pleasure if your masturbation is feeling good. If you like, climax with your finger inside, and see how it feels. If all this seems good to you, keep up the exploration. If it bothers you, withdraw and try again later; take you time.
Once you get get used to you finger inside, you can discover new things. Stick you finger all the way in. Then feel around inside, gently, as you masturbate, until you touch on a silver-dollar sized, round lump behind you testicles. this is your prostate gland, and you'll know when you've touched it because it'll feel hard and nice. If there's a sharp pain, however, withdraw your finger and go see a doctor, because it means your prostate might be infected.
But otherwise, try moving your finger up and sown against the prostate as you masturbate. This will probably feel very good. Also you'll notice that you can squeeze and unsqueeze you anus around the finger.
Now you'll want to learn to loosen it enough to let in larger sized. It may seem at first like you anus has a separate personality, doing things in its own way. But this is only because you've separated it in your mind. If you get to know it better, it'll eventually make friends with you, and the separation will disappear. After using your finger to meet it, get to know your anus more intimately. You can trace warm wet rings around its outside; after inserting a finger you can massage it, pressing outward in a circle, tensing and calming it, trying to curl your finger around its side, feeling its touch through the skin - while exploring, if you act like you're shitting, pushing out, this will help even more. Practice stretching and tensing/calming your anus around your finger; you want to do this until it can be widened easily and painlessly.
Next you can insert two (or more) fingers, seeing how far you can bend them apart. Later, you might want to try a dildo (a straight, smooth, round tipped object like those found in sex shops). It's a good idea to use something that won't break, such as plastic or rubber. Glass objects and sometimes shatter, and a candle could snap in the middle. leaving half stuck inside. So be careful. Otherwise feel free to indulge, since you can only hurt your rectum with sharp objects or violent jabbing motions.
Or you might want to move right on to experimenting with a friend. And this is also another way to learn about your ass. Say to him "I'd sure like to enjoy anal pleasures, but I'm not used to it and a little afraid," Then your friend can turn you on" (after douching if necessary) he can place his fingers at your anus during sex. He can, if he likes, suck and tongue your anus, or insert his finger(s). These are called analingus and postillioning, and can be soothing, warm, and exiting; they have their own secretions at the end of this chapter. A nice thing is for your friend to masturbate you as his finger is inserted in your rectum.
If neither of you can get this far, because you anus just won't relax, it means you're anxious somewhere, or you simply don't know how to relax it yet. This is not always the easiest thing to learn, and there's no reason to feel bad about it, since the anus is very likely to just follow old habits of not opening up. It takes time. Take risks only when you really feel safe, and don't allow yourself to be forced open. It helps to talk about this, and how you're feeling.
One especially nice act that can relax your rear is for your friend, during sex, to simply trace soft rings around the opening, pressing with one or two lubricated fingertips, going around and around. This usually has a calming, whole-some effect.
If, after much gentle trying over a period of time, your anus just won't loosen, I would suggest you might have a mental wish not to be entered that you aren't aware of. If this might be, explore the possibility in your mind and with your friend; you may want to see a counselor or sexologist, or you may decide that anal intercourse just isn't for you.
If you do progress in your explorations, the time will come for your friend to insert his penis. If this is what you both want, let it happen as it will, without planning on doing it. Be easy about it, trying one of the position I've described. It may take several (or many) tries, so relax and feel the sensations. If it hurts, and it might, just ask him to withdraw gently. Some pain may happen, and this is usually OK. If it's a strong or sharp pain, back off, but you'll discover that the mild pain turns to blissful delight during sex. As he enters, you may experience a violent urge to go to the bathroom, or you may imagine you're going to piss or shit right there. This is a fantasy of your mind and body, through lack of use and conditioning; if you respect these feelings and have patience, they will change through practice. Also, if you're sexually excited, these feelings and any tightness will lessen considerably. The best rule is to take it in steps, going easy and smooth. It may seem difficult for a while, but you may be surprised by a rapid change from discomfort to sweet pleasure.
There is a special position for you if you want to take entire control of the act. This way you can go fast or slow as you like. It involves your friend lying on his back. Then you squat down over his hips, facing him, and guide his penis to your ass. Then you simply sit down on it, gently and as far as you want to go. You make any motions with your hips, or you can just feel what it's like.
There are two other ways you can take more control, which are useful not only if you're new at it, but also if he has an extra large penis. You can use your hand as a stopper, wrapping it around his penis where you like so only so much is let in (or he can use his own hand). Also you can use a position allowing only limited entry - a good one is where you lie flat on your stomach, with him lying on top; by pushing down with your pelvis or tightening your buttocks you can limit penetration even more.
After insertion, give a luxurious amount of time in becoming used to it. Let him worry about what to do, and you just pay attention to the warmth Let him worry about what to do, and you just pay attention to the warmth and sensualness of it. Try masturbating - this is a regular part of the intercourse, and may surprise you with its intensity.
Enjoyment in being the ass-person comes with letting go, into the experience. It's not being passive in our cultural sense, since he can be lying still with your making all the motions. Rather it's receiving and giving, his care and yours, your bodily/emotional desires and his, in various combination. It's reaching and creating with your excitement, so that your union becomes fusion of give and take, in and out - a greater wholeness of being.
You can be entirely still or jumping all over, or anywhere in between. Most of the body motions are easy to learn, such as thrusting and grinding. It can get a little complicated at times, however, since if you both move your motions must be coordinated. The easiest thing to do is rotate your rear in a circular way, as he thrusts. A tricky and subtle still is to learn how to squeeze your anus, tight and loose, to fondle his pleasure more and start vibrating, glowing ripples up and down your rectum. You'll know if you're moving in good ways, because you'll feel a rhythmic flow inside and out. You'll begin to forget where you are, as your movements melt into his.

Anal Intercourse Technique

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:18:33 -0600

Let me say right off that the best way to learn anal intercourse it sot do it. Keep in mind that the ways of sharing sex must be developed; they don't spring fully formed into the mind. Yet the basic actions of the intercourse are easy and simple, as they are for every kind of sex. That is, all the necessary information is already in you; you need only learn how to being it out, to overcome any confusions and develop rapport with your partner(s). It's the prohibitions, the guilts and the complexities in our society and each of us that prevent us knowing and doing what we want. Again, it's a matter of good consciousness, feeling relaxed, and wanting to explore, to get into it.
Anal intercourse involves two people, who between them create the pleasures. At any one time, one person will have his penis in the other's ass; this may be reversed later on. One or both (or at certain times neither) persons will be moving. In the anal intercourse I will discuss, both partners want to engage in it, and they cooperate with each other. There's no such thing as a "passive" and an "active" role; there is no dominant and no submissive-these are false labels put on us by hostile outsiders. Ass fucking is an act of creation where two are together. There is a vast flexibility in who can do what, but there is no "one up/one down" mentality unless you want that.
So you want to know how to do it? Here it is: you kneel on your elbows and knees, and relax you ass such that your body wants to take in your friend's erect penis. He kneels directly behind your rear end, facing your way. He bends over you, guiding his lubricated penis to your anus-opening, and then gently pushes it inside as you draw it in. Then he causes his penis to slide up and down inside by thrusting his hips back and forth, while you keep still or rotate you hips in a side-to-side motion.
That's basically it. From the description, you might think the penis person is having all the fun. That's no true. The ass-person may be enjoying even more pleasure. There are two reasons for this: the anus is very sensitive to erotic touch, like the lips; and the inserted penis will massage a small gland behind the testicles, called the prostate. When this gland is touched during sexual arousal, the pleasurable feelings are multiplied in intensity. Thus, during anal intercourse, powerful erotic feelings can flow all through the body around the genitals, anus, and internal organs; the rectum may begin contracting up and down in waves of pleasure, causing an anal orgasm along with the genital one. the penis-person can masturbate his partner; the ass-person can masturbate himself, or he can even reach around to insert a finger in his partner's anus - many possibilities are open, for you to discover exactly what you like to do and enjoy, according to you different wants and moods.
In other words, if you're new to it, it's best to learn in steps and not to expect to know or do everything at once; usually it takes months or years to feel and shape the many potential desires and satisfactions. The basic act is simple, but out culture teaches us to be so inhibited about sex, gay sex, and asses in particular that some confusion may have to be worked through.
Once over this, new levels of meaning will be open to you. The fun of sexual arousal and ejaculation is recreational, is entertainment. Loss of ego sense )sense of "I") and dissolving into another, when all thinking disappears and both your ecstasies merge together, is affirmational, is centering, growthful, spiritual. Wrapping your warm body around another, or to be so enfolded, with torsos and legs, penis and ass, desire and care, feels good in describable and indescribable ways, to the life/spirit/me. And this is creative experience at its best.
Where to begin? By being candid with yourself, and that you want to explore, and then finding a partner, a friend, a one-night stand, whatever. You'll probably want to taste both roles, insertor and insertee: you might find one more meaningful for you, or you might like both.
I should mention here that all our explorations, indeed, any suggestions given in this book, are meant as enjoyable adventures, as good experiences. If anything turns into hard work, if you seem driven to ignore your sensuality, and speed on in haste instead, or get worried and upset, it's time to stop. To start over or talk to someone, You can't force love, it unfolds. Oftentimes things have to be learned, but if this is not enjoyable learning it's probably not for you. Curiosity is your best bet here, and leave you seriousness at the door - sodomy is an extra, not a pain in the ass.
First, let me explain the basic position and motions that go with them, then I'll discuss matters about the ass-person, the penis- person. Let me go through each position, the motions that can be used, and its advantages and disadvantages; these, of course, can only be explained approximately, as people vary in what fits for them.
One position I've already described, with the ass-person crouching down to receive his friend from behind. The advantages are, easy and fairly deep entry, and freedom of movements. This of the penis- person include thrusting, grinding (rotating the hips circularly as you'd do to play with a hoola-hoop), rocking (turning the pelvis from left to right), and body motions like swaying from the knees. These motions allow differing experiences for both partners. Those of the ass-person include complementary thrusting (the same as for the penis-person, except that your timing and his are slightly off), counter-thrusting (where you push as he pulls), grinding or rocking as he thrusts, and body movements. All these motions are easy to learn, once you feel save enough to try them and someone can help you a little.
The disadvantages of this position are both people having to hold themselves up (getting tired and not having free hands), the penis not pressing too much against the prostate, and not being face to face (if that's important to you).
A variation on this position had the ass-person lying flat on his stomach (with his hips raised a little on a pillow if you like). This allows him to relax more and he has his hands free to do whatever. The Penis-person lies on top and thus also can be more relaxed and have free hands. However, penetration is not as easy and you can't thrust as deeply. Also, the ass-person is weighed down and restricted in how he can move, through the penis-person can still more freely.
From this position, both partners can roll over on their sides, still facing the same way, with one leg drawn up. This position allows bodily relaxation plus free hands to explore and caress. Also entry is easy and fairly deep, and avoids the one person pressing fully on his friend. Movements are somewhat limited, though vigorous thrusting is till easy once you get used to the posture.
An interesting variation on this position has both partners on their sides, but facing each other. Here the penis-person must extend his pelvis between the other's bent legs. This position allow deep entry and a full massage of the prostate. Also the hands and mouths are free, and movement is fairly easy once insertion is made.
then there is the full-front position, in which the ass-person lies on his back, drawing his knees up to his chest and over the shoulders of the penis-person, who presses down on him fact to face (a pillow can be put under the pelvis to raise it even higher, or the penis-person can push back his friend's feet over his head). This position allows for easy penetration and very deep entry, a good massage of the prostate, plus full movements by the penis- person. However, the ass-person can't move much, though his hands are free.
Another favorite position is a standing one, in which both friends stand up, facing the same way, and the ass-person bends over at the waist, using a wall table, or other support. This can also be done on the knees rather than the feet, say, at the edge of the bed. If both partners are not of the same height at the waist, some adjustment will have to be made. This position is convenient to use outdoors, and allows easy penetration and full movements, if something solid is around to hold on to.
These are the basic positions; many others are also possible. Each is different, and may vary for you in feelings and emotional meaning. You might be specially thrilled by thrusting from behind, wrapping around this backside, stroking his chest and stomach with your hand. Or your love to unite may reach out strongest with him entering you face to face, snug and kissing deeply.